You’re actually a highly sensitive person, but you’veshut down youremotions in order to cope. This again stems from experiencing rejection, blame, neglect, or abuse, and a core feeling of being unlovable and flawed. There are so many things that alcoholic families don’t talk about – to each other and especially to the outside world. When there are things so awful that they can’t be talked about, you feel there is something awful about you and that you’ll be judged and cast away.
Additional articles about codependency and Adult Children of Alcoholics that you may find helpful:
- This again stems from experiencing rejection, blame, neglect, or abuse, and a core feeling of being unlovable and flawed.
- The unpredictable and often chaotic nature of their childhood environment can lead to trust issues, fear of abandonment, and difficulty with emotional intimacy.
- Struggles with trust and emotional regulation are also common long-term effects.
- Parents struggling with alcohol use disorder may be emotionally unavailable, abandoning the emotional requirements of their children.
- CPTSD is a subtype of PTSD that develops in response to prolonged, repeated traumatic experiences, typically lasting months or years.
While hypervigilance is a coping mechanism, it becomes a liability in adulthood when one is constantly waiting for someone to attack or something terrible to happen. Often, children feel trapped and unable to escape from families caught up in the tragedy of alcoholism in their families. This sense of being trapped undermines a child’s sense of safety in the world and begins a lifetime of exhausting hypervigilance, where they constantly monitor their environment for possible threats. While many alcoholics are not violent, some are, and this behavior affects children significantly. Chronic trauma can develop due to neglect, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, and domestic violence.
Alcoholic vs Binge Drinker: Understanding the Distinctions and Risks
One 2020 study explored the direct and indirect links between types of childhood trauma to PTSD and alcohol misuse. Reach out to professionals and support groups to find the help and resources you need to navigate this difficult time in your life. It is important to remember that not all individuals exhibiting these behaviors are necessarily struggling with alcoholism, but they may be warning signs worth paying attention to. The ACA has group meetings (based on the 12-step principles of “Alcoholics Anonymous”) that are specifically designed to help adult children overcome the lasting damage of parental drinking. One of the most common issues reported was a lack of trust in adults (more than 1 in 5).
A therapist specializes in helping adult children of alcoholics navigate the healing process. An alcohol use disorder (AUD) affects not only the user but can also affect the people in the user’s life. Because addiction is a family disorder, spouses, siblings, parents, and children also experience the consequences of an AUD.
Try to remember that nothing around their alcohol or substance use is in connection to you, nor is it your responsibility to alter their behavior. It can be tough to navigate life as a child or young adult when your guardian is navigating such a complex illness. ACE scores, or Adverse Childhood Experiences, is a widely accepted and thoroughly researched marker of the potential experiences an adult may have to navigate. A common phenomenon is known as “role reversal,” where the child feels responsible for the well-being of the parent instead of the other way around. Studies suggest that both mental illness and trauma are risk factors for AUD and SUD.
Healing and Recovery from PTSD Caused by an Alcoholic Parent
Children of alcoholics will eventually grow up to become adults, but the trauma can linger for years. Adult children of alcoholics may feel the fear, anxiety, anger and self-hatred that lives on from their childhood. They might notice the old coping mechanisms and behaviors leaking out in adulthood—the people-pleasing, controlling behavior, approval-seeking, or judgment of self stress drinking has a gender divide and others. Growing up with an alcoholic parent fosters adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Studies have shown that 61% of adults have at least one ACE, and one out of six has at least four. Having even one ACE can increase the risk of becoming a smoker, and developing obesity, depression, and a substance use disorder (SUD).
I’m Seeking Help
Once these two aspects of self—the inner parent and child—begin to work together, a person can discover a new wholeness within. The adult child in recovery can observe and respond to the conflict, emptiness and loneliness that stem from a parent’s substance abuse, and they can mourn the unchangeable past. They can own their truth, grieve their losses and become accountable for how they live their life today. While there is evidence of genetic predisposition to alcohol abuse, children of alcoholics can thrive with support and intervention.
Research suggests that about one in 10 children lives with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, and about one in 5 adults lived with a person who used alcohol when they were growing up. Parents with an AUD may have difficulty providing children with a safe, loving environment, which can lead to long-term emotional and behavioral consequences. Some studies have shown that children of parents with AUD are more likely to misuse alcohol themselves in adolescence or adulthood. They may begin drinking alcohol at a younger age than other people and progress quickly to a problematic level of consumption.
